Intimate Partner Sexual Violence

Most often, sexual violence is perpetrated by someone a victim knows, and this also includes the intimate partner (whether an ex or a current one). There are many different terms to refer to sexual violence that occurs within intimate partnerships, including: intimate partner sexual violence, domestic violence, intimate partner rape, marital/spousal rape. No matter what term is used or how the relationship is defined, it is never okay to engage in sexual activity without someone’s consent.

Who is affected by intimate partner sexual violence?

Intimate partner sexual violence can occur in all types of intimate relationships, regardless of gender identities or sexual orientation. Intimate partner sexual violence is not defined by gender or sexuality, but by an abusive behavior.

How does intimate partner sexual violence relate to other kinds of abuse?

Sexual violence in a relationship is rarely an isolated incident. It often occurs alongside other forms of abusive behavior, including physical and emotional abuse. For instance, the majority of women who are physically assaulted by an intimate partner have been sexually assaulted by that same partner. Intimate partner sexual violence often starts with controlling behavior that can escalate to further emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

Warning signs of abuse include a partner who:

• attempts to cut you off from friends and family;
• is extremely jealous or upset if you spend time away from them;
• insults you, puts you down, says that you can never do anything right;
• tries to prevent you from attending work or school;
• tries to prevent you from making decisions for yourself;
• destroys your personal property, attempts to harm your pets;
• threatens to harm your children or take them away from you;
• tells you that you are worthless and that no one else could ever love you;
• controls your finances.

Why should I reach out for help?

If you have experienced sexual assault by an intimate partner, it can be challenging to come forward for many reasons. You may be concerned for your safety or the safety of your children, worried about your financial situation or about what your family might think, still have strong feelings for your partner, or not feel like you can call what happened to you sexual assault. It’s understandable to feel this way.
 
Remember, ending an abusive relationship is not something that you have to do alone or wait for somebody else to do it instead of you. Reaching out for help to friends, loved ones, specialized local organizations, or law enforcement can be a helpful first step in this process – when you are ready to take that step. In Romania, the law protects victims of domestic violence by quickly issuing a temporary protection order. This may be requested as many times as needed, after confirming the abuse and the expiration of its validity period, meaning 6 months.

If you want to talk about sexual violence with a professional ready to help, send an email to: help@asistentavictime.ro